There is so much more meaning to a message than what exists in the spoken or written words. For example, if a person says, “you know, Barbara, I really like you,” it has different meanings depending on whether it is said by man or a woman, in an office or a bar. Context, the tone of voice, the stress put on certain words, as well as the eye contact, physical distance, and the relationship between the speaker and the listener are all factors which give meaning to what’s being said. Sometimes, these factors can generate much more meaning than the words themselves. If a friend say to me, “Gee, I can’t wait to see the result of the upcoming election,” my interpretation of that message will be based upon my knowledge of my friend’s political views, the situation with the current campaign, and my ability to understand the meaning behind the tone of voice.

Our ability to understand such cue is developed without us being aware of it through our process of socialization, Our interpretation of these cues just comes naturally. Every culture has its own set of culture cues that each member of that culture understands. It’s common how a person from culture A and a person from culture B interpret the very same words in totally different ways. Here are some examples:

When ”Sarcasm” Means “Sincerity”

Marsha thought things were going well with her new French friends, particularly Bertrand. He often invited her to interesting and fun events, but he was often making fun of her. One day at an art exhibition, while looking at a particularly abstract piece, Marsha said that she couldn’t understand what the artist was trying to express. Bertrand smiled and responded, “Yes, I’m afraid French art is far too advanced for Americans to understand.” Marsha was upset; she really liked him and couldn’t figure out what caused him to frequently make fun of her. So, she asked her host mother about it. “My dear,” the host mother told her, “This means that he really likes you. In France, when someone feels comfortable enough to make fun of you, that mean that you have been welcomes as a very close friends.”

When ”Now” doesn't Means “Now”

Joshua, an American student in Heredia, Costa Rican partner to meet for coffee. When he asked what time they should meet, the response was “Nos encontramos ahora en elparquet”. “Ahora” literally means now. So, he grabbed his jacket and headed straight to the park where they agreed to meet. Half an hour later, his friend arrived without the least sigh of regret for being late. After discussing the matter with his Spanish teacher, Joshua learned that in Costa Rica, ”Ahora” means sometime within the hour. And, if people decide to meet someplace like park, it is no problem for one or the other to wait for a while because they will spend some nice time in the park, probably running into some other friends, or meeting someone friendly.

When “Yes” Doesn’t Means “Yes”

Many business people might have experienced this frustrating situation in Japan. Sarah, a young businesswoman from New York, was sent to Japan to close a big deal for her company. While giving her

presentation, she became more and more certain of sale because her Japanese business partners continually nodded their heads as she spoke. When she finished, she thought the deal was made and asked when they would like to sign the agreement. She was shocked when she was told that they were not yet sure if they wanted to make the deal or not. What Sarah did not know is that in Japan, nodding head does not necessarily mean “yes” as it does in the US. It can also mean “yes, I am listening and understanding what you are saying.”

These stories provide just a few examples of how language skills are simply not enough to achieve effective communication in another culture. To get the most of your international learning experience, focus on gaining cross-cultural skills will enable you do the following:

`understand how culture affects communication;

`deal with behavior that seems to you strange or offensive;

`learn from your cultural adaptation process;

`communicate more effectively.

These skills will also help you when you learn a new language. After all, language is s reflection of the culture from which it developed.